Pigs, Pranks, and Purrfection
by aomurasakiai
Summary: [{(COMPLETE)}] Heero and Duo are half-felines and poor Duo is the the current victim of the Prankster of the Forest. A pig named... Schnuggel!


Author:  aomurasakiai

Warnings:  Heavy Lime, Yaoi, AU, boys as half felines, prankster pig

Pairings:  1x2

Spoilers:  None

Rating:  R (or NC-17 just to be safe)

Author's Notes:  This fic was requested by Terra that goes along with a pic that she drew entitled "Cat's Interrupted".  Hope I did okay on it.  ^^;;

Dedication:  Terra Harpel!  Hope your new layout is a great success.  =D

Pigs, Pranks, and Purrfection (1/1)  
  
  
  
It was the first day of spring.  A young white tiger half-breed was sprinting through the forest, without a care in the world.  The feline was named Duo, a hyperactive little fur ball that leapt into a grassy clearing, taking in the damp morning air.  With his black-and-white striped tail swinging behind him, he walked over to the blossoming flowers.  His furry ears relaxed upon his head as Duo lightly touched the dewdrops on the petals and smelled the flowers' delicate fragrance.  He smiled to himself, wondering what his lover, a leopard half-breed by the name of Heero, had planned for that night.

All of a sudden Duo felt a sharp tug on his tail, causing pain to shoot up his spine and he let out a surprised yelp.

"ITAAIII~!!!" his voice echoed through the quiet forest, frightening numerous birds perched on the tree branches and causing them to take flight.  He spun around quickly and glanced about while holding his bottom.  The white tiger's tail curled around his hairless arm almost in fear as violet eyes spotted the culprit: a plump, pink pig disappearing into a bush.  Before he had time to think about the runaway pig, Heero burst into the clearing.

"Duo!  What's wrong?" the leopard asked in concern.

"Nothing, Heero," the other feline reassured his lover.  "I think someone just pulled my tail… no harm done." Heero caught sight of Duo's hand, still resting where the black-and-white striped tail protruded from the rear.  Giving a small smirk, he pulled the white tiger close and wrapped his arms around Duo's waist.

"Should I kiss and make it better?" Heero whispered rather huskily.  Before the other could react, the leopard crushed their lips together in a heated kiss.  Duo felt a pair of hands grope his ass and he groaned as pleasure ran to his lower regions.  He rubbed his black, boxer covered groin against Heero's red brief covered one.  When the white tiger reached up to take off his vest, Heero stopped him.

"Not now.  We'll have time tonight," the leopard spoke as if reprimanding him.

"But you started it!" Duo sputtered out, panting slightly.

"I know," Heero replied with a smirk.  Neither of them realized that a pair of round black eyes hidden behind a nearby bush were watching them.

~*~*~

Duo scratched behind his furry ear to relieve an itch as he strolled down the path to the large pond in the middle of the forest.  It was already mid-afternoon but with Heero's teasing advances all morning he wasn't sure whether or not he could last until nightfall.  Nevertheless he smiled and shook his head at his lover's antics.  He couldn't say that he didn't enjoy it.

As he continued on his way, in the next two seconds (and without warning), something incredibly wet and smelly plopped onto his head.  The white tiger could feel it sticking to his hair, sinking in and reeking of decomposition.  It rapidly spread outward and slid down his forehead and chestnut braid.  Duo did the only thing he could do…

"YAAAHHHH~!!!"  His hands swiped at his hair, trying to stop the mud from descending further.  Spinning around helplessly and shaking his head, he managed to fling most of it off before making a mad dash to the pond and diving in.  He stayed underwater for a few seconds, even though he *hated* water because it clung to his tail and ears, making them incredibly heavy.  Nevertheless, when he surfaced most of the mud had washed off.  A snorting laugh was heard near the bank and Duo turned to see the pink pig from that morning.

"YOU!"

"Had a nice swim?" it asked innocently.  Duo let out a growl and pounced out of the water, giving chase to the elusive swine.  Despite it being rather portly, it was incredibly swift, weaving through the trees and using its small size to evade the white tiger.  Blinded by rage, Duo never saw the coil of rope on the ground and he stepped right into the trap.  In an instant he was swinging upside down in the air, dangling from the rope tied to a tree branch.

"Let me down or I'll turn you into PORK CHOP!!!" Duo yelled, trying to wiggle his foot loose.  But the knot was firm and the more he struggled, the tighter it got.  A snorting laugh was the response and Duo stopped struggling, glaring daggers at the pig that was looking up at him.  If looks could kill…

"You're funny," the chubby swine told him, matter-of-factly.

"Just who the hell are you?!"

"Schnuggel," he introduced himself.  "Also known as 'Prankster of the Forest'."

"My… aren't *you* special…" Duo said, deadpanned.  He blinked when he thought he saw pain flash across the black eyes before Schnuggel turned tail and sprinted away.  The white tiger stared in shock for a moment before he resumed his struggling.

"COME BACK HERE!!!" the feline shouted.  But his heart stopped when he heard a rather loud *snap* and he found himself falling head first, the ground rushing towards him.  He shut his eyes tightly, preparing himself for the impact.  Instead he landed on something softer than the forest floor… Violet eyes looked up as the broken tree branch crashed beside him and his savior.

"You seem to attract trouble, koi."

"Heero…" The said leopard reached over and sliced through the rope with his sharp nails, freeing Duo's foot.  Leaning in, he sniffed the chestnut hair.

"And you smell," he said before dropping his voice.  "How about an early bath?"  Duo gave a startled yelp when Heero scooped him up in his arms, stating that he was in no shape for walking because of the burn marks caused by the rope.

~*~*~

Heero listened to Duo ramble about the practical joker while he washed out the last of the mud that was stuck to the other's hair.  They were both sitting in the pond naked and every so often the leopard would chuckle.

"It's not funny!" the other feline shouted and huffed, turning his head away.  Duo could feel Heero nuzzle his neck, almost purring.

"Of course not," he whispered, his hand traveling south over the white tiger's body and stopping at the hip.  "You seemed to have had a bad day.  Hope the mood isn't ruined for tonight." Heero nipped the delicate skin before him and licked the red mark that appeared.  Duo really did purr as Heero pressed closer.  The leopard captured his lips once again in a passionate kiss, making the white tiger forget all about the mischievous pig.  However, when Duo reached out for Heero's groin, the kiss was broken and the unruly haired feline pulled away.  Giving the tiger a small peck on the lips, Heero got out of the pond.

"Which reminds me… I have to prepare for tonight," he said, slipping into his red briefs, careful of his spotted tail.  With a sly smirk over his shoulder, the leopard sauntered away, leaving Duo gaping like a fish and his erection rock hard.

"HEERO YUY!!  YOU COME BACK HERE!!!"

~*~*~

Finally, the sun was beginning to set and Duo hoped that whatever Heero *had* planned would make up for all the sexual frustration he'd had to endure all day.  Not to mention all the pranks being pulled on him by the pink menace.  The white tiger growled deeply in his throat at the thought of him.

"Just who does he think he is?  'Prankster of the Forest'. HA!" But then Duo remembered how Schnuggel's eyes pained when he said that.  Obviously there was something more to it than that.

Suddenly a black cloth closed over his eyes, blindfolding him.  He was about to lash out when a soft voice whispered into his ear.

"Relax koi.  It's only me."

"Heero?  What's going on?" The other feline chuckled.

"Everything's ready," Heero told him.  "I want it to be a surprise."  Duo smiled in return and was led away by the leopard.  They walked quite a distance but soon they stopped and the leopard carefully maneuvered the other around the "decorations" to sit on the blanket he'd laid out on the grass.  Gently, Heero loosened the blindfold and Duo's eyes widened in surprise.

There were large red candles on a log and tree stump, all lit up and radiating a soft glow.  Violet flowers in full bloom were strategically placed around the perimeter of the small clearing.  There were even some water droplets still on them that sparkled in the candlelight.  The blanket Duo was sitting on and the two pillows on top were all light green in color, blending in with the grass.

"Heero… it's wonderful," Duo said in awe.

"So, this makes up for today, ne?" Heero asked, taking the other's hand in his and lightly caressing the back with his thumb.

"It's beginning to." The leopard wasted no time in pushing the other feline back, himself following and laying on top of the white tiger.

"Then I think we should continue," Heero whispered hoarsely and dipped in for a kiss.  Duo brought his arms around his lover's muscular neck and the kiss deepened quickly.  Opening his mouth, he accepted the probing tongue and they warred for dominance.  Duo managed to flip them both over and hungrily attacked Heero's exposed throat, nipping and sucking.  He groaned as his vest was taken off and thrown to the side.  Strong hands trailed down his sides and nimble fingers hooked themselves into the waistband of his boxers, sliding those off as well.  Duo gasped out loud as his hard erection met the cool evening air.

"Ahh, Heero…" he moaned out when Heero's hand enclosed it in a firm grip.  Incoherent cries soon blended with the helpless whimpers as the leopard stroked his erect passion, causing precum to leak out.  With the white tiger distracted, Heero was able to flip them over again and divested himself of his red briefs.

"Need you… in me.  Please.  No more teasing," Duo whispered, delivering another kiss to the other feline.  Heero was very happy to oblige and reached over beside the tree trunk to where he'd stashed the lube.  His hand encountered nothing.  Feeling around blindly, the leopard tried to locate the bottle.  It was the last one that they had and he was sure he'd put it there.  Where was it?!

"Hello!  Looking for this?" an annoyingly familiar voice said.  Duo sat straight up and saw Schnuggel.  He had a piece of rope tied around the bottle of lube and the other end in his mouth.  The white tiger couldn't take it anymore.  This was one prank too many!  His emotions were swirling from the sexual foreplay and now with frustration thrown into the mix, he did something that surprised even himself.

He started to cry.  All he'd wanted was a nice evening with his lover and the pink menace had to ruin it.  This day just kept getting worse and worse.

Heero saw the tears that streaked down Duo's heart-shaped face and he turned his icy glare to the pig, growling threateningly.  Despite his lack of clothing, he pounced to try and get the lube back.  Schnuggel just ran away with the lube bouncing along behind him, still tied tightly to the rope.  Giving chase, the leopard lashed out with his claws but the fat swine was incredibly swift.

"Omae o korosu!" was heard every so often.  After a few minutes of cat-and-mouse (or rather "pig"), Heero managed to cut the rope with his sharp nails, causing the lube to land in a large bush and Schnuggel to trip.  The remaining piece of the rope was used to hog-tie him and Heero brought the prankster back to the clearing for Duo.

"Here, koi.  Teach him a lesson." Heero dumped Schnuggel unceremoniously before the other feline before he sprinted away, going back to retrieve their last bottle of lube.  Duo's tears had stopped and he sniffed a bit.

"Sorry," Schnuggel said quietly.

"Huh?" Duo was dumbfounded.

"I didn't mean to make you cry.  I just thought you'd get angry again.  You're funny when you are," he continued, looking up at the white tiger.

"Is that why you do all the pranks?  To make people angry for your own amusement?" Duo asked, his own anger returning.

"No.  For example, that leopard is scary when he's angry.  I do value my life and know when to stop pushing it," Schnuggel told him.

"Then why?"

"Attention." Duo blinked in confusion so the pig explained further. "I do pranks for fun.  Hence my title in this forest.  I just want people to laugh… that's what they do when pranks are pulled off successfully, right?" Black eyes became pained again. "But it seems like all I could do is to make them mad at me.  They hate me now because they've been a 'victim' of my pranks before.  I don't have friends anymore." Schnuggel's eyes began to water.

"So… you continue to pull pranks in hopes of getting people's attention?" Duo asked and the pig shrugged.  But the white tiger did know what he was talking about.  Before he knew Heero, he was always trying to get the attention of other forest creatures.  With the jester's mask he told jokes, goofed off, and basically drove everyone nuts… all in the hope that people would notice him.  He sympathized with Schnuggel.  He really did.

When Heero came back with the lube, he saw Schnuggel free from the ropes and sitting on *their* blanket with Duo.  The braided feline looked up and smiled.

"Heero!  Can we keep him?" The leopard stopped, his brain ceasing to function at his lover's question.

"WHAT?!"  Schnuggel jumped a bit at the outburst and ran behind Duo, who started to explain what had happened while Heero was gone.  Heero rubbed his eyes tiredly as he listened.

"Are you sure?" he asked after Duo finished.

"Hai.  He'll be like a pet to us." Schnuggel nodded enthusiastically from his position behind the white tiger.  Heero held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Okay, fine," he said before walking up to the former pink menace.  "But if you cause *ANY* trouble for either of us…" Heero's claws sprang out from his hand warningly.

"…I'll turn you into pork chop."

Schnuggel just swallowed.

Owari 


End file.
